Favorite Quotes

First topic message reminder :

I'm a big fan of quotes, I find them to be amazing. What are your personal favorites?

[I have the feeling there's going to be a significant amount of Carlin here...lolz]

"What We Do In Life Echoes Through Eternity" ~ Maximus, The Gladiator

If you ever start feelin bad about yourself, go to a State Fair and just look around, boy. I saw people there that could be their own dad and wearin' clothes I wouldn'ta picked in darkness outta the yard. There was this one woman there that I swear must've weighed 1500 pounds. The weight guessin' guy went "No. You don't want me hollerin' that number out." And it wasn't that she was big cuz big doesn't bother me. What bothered me is that in one hand she's got a funnel cake with every condiment known to man on it. Mustard, mayonnaise, dirt from the ground was on this thing. In her mouth she's holdin' a burrito like a cigarette and in her other hand she's got a roasted ear of corn. I'm lookin' at her thinkin "Good Lord. If you look like that don't go to a fair and eat like that!" And hangin' onto her was this little skinny a** 80 pound man. Just beggin for scraps. "You gonna eat the husk off that corn, punkin?" She's like "Shutup, I'll feed you when it's time."

"Jake is the epitome of cool."

"Are you a drunk mosquito?"

"Fail!"- Somedeadidiot

"Nice pants"

"But He loves you!"- George Carlin

"Git 'er done!"

"It's the same thing - but different!" - My math teacher, and probably others

"Hang on, we're going to sort this alphabetically by height " - My math teacher again. He's so rad, lolz

"I'm gonna kick you in the FFFff..... teeth!"

My Science teacher freshman year. He tried so hard not to curse at us XD

"Is Dave there?" --Ben.

mmhm, yee-ah.

Apollo wrote:"I'm gonna kick you in the FFFff..... teeth!"

My Science teacher freshman year. He tried so hard not to curse at us XD

Then my comp sci teacher (actually, EX comp sci teacher) didn't even try.

"This is the motherboard, but I like to call it the MOTHERF***ER!!!"

-Mr. Wilkes

He lasted until about December until he was asked to resign, lol.

Spishnittlestick wrote:"It's the same thing - but different!" - My math teacher, and probably others

My science teacher used to do that, too.

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. But your life, Lois, is like a box of active grenades!!!" -- Stewie


"When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone."

somedeadidiot wrote:

Spishnittlestick wrote:"It's the same thing - but different!" - My math teacher, and probably others

My science teacher used to do that, too.

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. But your life, Lois, is like a box of active grenades!!!" -- Stewie


"When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone."

"When God gives you lemons YOU FIND A NEW GOD!"
-Powerthirst, lolz

"When a tree gives you lemons, cut it down."

"Upon arrival, the rivals' arrival revived a revivable arrival who happened to be arriving from an arrivable destination."

'You keep believing. I'll keep evolving'

If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that...I would have 11 cents....

"The fact of the matter is, when the democrats could not find somebody to beat George W. Bush is beyond belief. It's stunning! It's like finding a normal person that would lose in the special olympics!" - Lewis Black.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
--Phyllis Diller

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." --Ingrid Bergman

"I'm not afraid of all Hell breaking loose. What I am afraid of, though, is a part of Hell breaking loose; it'll be much harder to detect." -- George Carlin

"Why don't men get pregnant? It isn't fair. I think it would add a little more mystery to the whole experience because then both people will have to worry about getting pregnant. AND this way guys can't run around with a different girl every night. Well, they COULD, but I don't think they'd do it as much...."

--My cousin, Sierra

"Why was the male seahorse the one to have the baby? Was some doctor drunk and called the pregnant one the male? 'And this is the male seahorse.' "But it's pregnant, it's the female!" 'No!!! It's a male seahorse!!!' " - Jim Gaffigan, I'm pretty sure.

"Did you know on a tube of Preperation H it says 'Do not take this orally'? That's sad, isn't it? Cuz you know somebody wrote 'em a letter. It's like 'Dear Preperation H, I ate this whole dang tube, I still got these hemmeroids. Man, my mouth's so small, I can't even eat a jellybean anymore. But I could whistle really good!'"

--Bill Engvall

"If you wanna be a non-conformist, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music that we do." - South Park Goths

The quote is very similar, and I don't feel like digging out the DVD right now, haha.

It's so true though, haha.

btw, Goth Stan is AMAZING