And I swear I'm not ADD...

Today I was gonna go see Journey to the Center of the Earth, but this and that and the other changed my plans and I ended up going tire shopping with the family instead. "It'll be ready in about 45 minutes". Cool. So we did some Walmart shopping, went back to the tire center, and they hadn't even started. They said we could wait in the waiting room, which is a small square room with about 8 chairs, a vending machine, and a TV that plays nothing but golf. I was bored out of my skull. I ended up texting a bunch of people all this random stuff, but eventually decided I'd have a nice discussion with my little brother, Preston, about birds and fish. Here's sorta how it went.

Me: Do birds eat fish?

Him: I don't know.

Me: Ask dad.

Him: You ask dad.

Me: You're closer.

Him: Sigh. Dad?

Dad: What?

Him: Do birds eat fish?

Dad. No.

Him (to me): No.

Me: Why not?

Him: I...don't...know!

Me: You would think that birds would eat fish, or at least some of them. I mean, don't eagles swoop down and snap up a salmon or something? What do wild birds eat then? Is there like some birdseed tree that they just gather around and devour? I mean, I know it's said that the early bird gets the worm, but what if you're not a morning bird? What if you like sleeping in? By the time you get up, all the worms are gone. What do you eat then?

Him: Insects. Flying insects.

Me: What, like mosquitos? I thought fish ate mosquitos? And what about the fear of West Nile? Doesn't that affect birds and fish, too? Aren't they a little afraid to eat them? Well, I guess there's always flies, but flies eat mosquitos too. Did you know that a fly only lives for 36 hours? Why would they risk getting West Nile if their life span is only a day and a half? They've got to have like a wife and kids back home to think about...

Him: Flies do not have families.

Me: They have children, that's family. I mean, I guess they could go to, like, a fly doctor or something...

Him: There's no such thing as a fly doctor.

Me: How do you know? How do you know that flies aren't trained to be doctors and lawyers and architects and things like that? They could go to college.

Him: They only live 36 hours. When would they find time to got to college?

Me: They could do it online in one day.

Him: 24 hours?

Me: Yeah. They still got 12 left, which they'd spend passing along what they learned to their children so they wouldn't have to go to college. And then the flies would learn all these professions and build up this Flyopolis thing. But then, what if one of the flies ate a mosquito and got West Nile and liked the feeling, like how people do with drugs? And then he goes out and gets all kinds of infected mosquitos and starts selling them on the streets like drugs? What would flies use for money, anyway? I guess they could use dirt or something...

Him: They wouldn't use something like that.

Me: Yeah, probably not. But then with drugs on the street, you'd need police, which means they'd have to send another fly to college to learn to be a policeman...er...fly. College is not cheap, you know, and I don't think they'd accept fly money. I think that's why flies hang out in people's houses, because they're trying to collect enough human money to send a fly to college to learn to become a policeman so they can control the drug problem in their Flyopolis.

Him: I'm going to go sit somewhere else now.

Do you think your parents would adopt me?

Lol...why??

I'd like to live with you, lol. I'd be your perfect brother!

You're the perfect age, too!!!

To answer your question, yes birds do eat fish. Lawl.

Nuh-uh!! My daddy said they didn't!!!

But then what if birds ate all these baby fish and made the mommy fish all mad and then the mommy fish decided she and her friends were gonna eat all the worms? What would the early bird eat? They'd all have to eat mosquitos and get West Nile. Or, they'd eat the flies, which would put a damper on their college fund. I guess they could eat grasshoppers but what if the grasshopper didn't die when it was eaten? Would it just live in their stomach? I think that'd be a weird feeling. Where do grasshoppers go in the winter? Do they go south, too? Is that why the birds go south because they've made all the mommy fish mad, there's no more worms, they don't want West Nile, and all there is to eat is grasshoppers?

You didnt answer the grasshopper questions.....

The acids in the consumer's stomach would slowly break down the chitinous exoskeleton if the grasshopper didn't die immediately.

So imagine getting slowly dissolved by acids. That would suck

And besides, it would be air tight, so the grasshopper wouldn't be able to do anything except slowly die.

I don't think woodland creatures have the "You tool, you ate all the good stuff, now I'm going to chow down on anything and everything you could ever eat!" attitude.

Sorry.

Oh, and I have a video for you all.

Is anyone here familiar with Clone High?



Get familiar

You can watch the episodes on www.veoh.com and a few other sights. This is just a portion from the episode "ADD The Last 'D' Is For Disorder"

lol see I'm not ADD...I don't act like that...I just have OID...overactive imagination disorder....There. I made up a disease. I'll send you the bill.

And you never know what a mama fish might do when a bird eats her children....never.....

haha.

That's awesoem. OID.

I'm using that from now on, haha. Congratulations. I'll even give you credit for it

I've got this bumper sticker on facebook that says "I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order"

I love eet!

lol I've heard that one before...hilarious...

Yeah I think I got OID

woah you got pwned

macncheese101 wrote:And you never know what a mama fish might do when a bird eats her children....never.....

I've done some thinking on things like that.
Please, bear with me, I'm questioning science in this one.

What if tumors and viruses and all that could think, and feel, and had little families? Seriously, science 'says' that something cannot feel without a nervous system or brain or whatever. But, what about plants? What if they could feel? What would it be then? What would something need in order to feel? "The sanctity of life doesn't apply to cancer cells, now does it?" Humans are cold-blooded, heartless murderers wether we believe it or not. Count how many mosquitos you kill tomorrow when you go outside.

IT'S THEIR FAULT!!! THEY FLY INTO THE WINDSHIELD!!!! lol...I wonder if mosquitos could get drunk if they stung a drunk guy.....

What about flies that drown in beer? OR COFFEE!!!

Das gross. But don't blame the flies, they're just trying to find enough money to send one of them to college.....

...
Fail.

Thousands of flies attend online college classes, but die horribly in debt.

It's kinda ironic, but just a lil while ago there was a fly perched on top of a $5 bill I had laying on my bed. Concidence? I think not.

There's about 3 on my 20.

it takes alot of flypower to carry that kind of moolah....cha ching!!!

Cjanz wrote:

dude.. pwned!