Pat Robertson: Snow: God's way to control homosexuality

http://news.yahoo.com/s/uc/20110101/cm_uc_crabox/op_4716464

Pat Robertson: Snow Is God's Way of Punishing Americans Planning To Drive To Do Something Gay



Andy Borowitz – Sat Jan 1, 3:00 am ET
VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) — Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his "700 Club" program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

Explaining his theory, Robertson said, "Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two." Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area "so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur."

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, "I think God probably wonders: If these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"

In other blizzard-related news, the National Weather Service offered this update: "It's as white as a Glenn Beck rally out there."

Winter Weather Expected to Dominate Conversations of Boring People
Tedious observations about the severe winter weather are expected to dominate the conversations of uninteresting people for the next 24 to 48 hours, boredom experts warned today.

With blizzard conditions blanketing the Northeast, a powerful front of mind-numbing weather-related banter is expected to pound the Eastern Seaboard from Sunday into Monday, with statements of the obvious stretching from the Carolinas to New England.

"Blizzards like this are when boring people really come alive, unfortunately," said Dr. Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota's Meteorology Institute. "I would advise everyone to stay inside and avoid all contact with dull individuals unless it's an absolute emergency."

Tracy Klugian, 57, a prominent bore from Cincinnati, Ohio, said that she planned to take a break from her scrapbooking hobby to post Facebook updates about the weather on an hourly basis.

"I live for days like this," said Klugian. "I've already said 'so much for global warming' 10 times today." And Klugian said she was spending the afternoon calling friends and relatives "to ask if it's cold enough for them."

"I sure have a lot to say about this snow and everything," she said. "I can't wait until somebody picks up."

Wut

Sigh. Why? That is all I can really say. Why?

Pat Robertson is an idiot and most people should know to just ignore everything he says by now.

It's hard to ignore someone proclaiming that snow is hammering the Northeast to prevent the gays from traveling and pull into question the sexual orientation of those living in NY.

Most sane people know that this is a ridiculous statement that is obviously not true at all.

I don't know what you guys are talking about, I think he's on to something here.

JakeTheSnake wrote:Most sane people know that this is a ridiculous statement that is obviously not true at all.

So you're calling me insane for being astonished at his stupidity?

No I never said that, I said people who believe what he says are. If you actually believe that the snow storm was caused by homosexuality than you have a few things wrong with you.

Jake, we all know you are one of those believers.....

Jake, I think you are just wrong. Clearly this is just true.

MasonK565 wrote:Sigh. Why? That is all I can really say. Why?

Damn, he nailed that one on the head. Just last week when we had that snow day, I was horrendously cockblocked, for I too was planning on a gay rendezvous with my gay associates. We had a dainty little hubris planned, along with some music oriented twister, and some light frisking . I sorely regret that snow day, and plan on alotting an entire week to compensate for the activities that were postponed. I promise to be PARTICULARLY thorough next time.

Oh my god, Tits Mcgee. You need to post more often.

But as for the why, I am asking what in the hell leads to his logic of what he thinks about this?

Lol I agree with mason.

Removed Content

Cjanz

Thezack's post was removed, as it logically had no point to the thread.


Sorry

-TG's Batman, MasonK565

Pat Robertson is so stupid all the snow storm cause was gay people to stay at home with there gay lovers.

........WTF.......pat robertson you so dumb..........