Favorite Quotes

I'm a big fan of quotes, I find them to be amazing. What are your personal favorites?

[I have the feeling there's going to be a significant amount of Carlin here...lolz]

"What We Do In Life Echoes Through Eternity" ~ Maximus, The Gladiator

"You do not need the bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate."

--Richard A. Weatherwax

Spishnittlestick wrote:[I have the feeling there's going to be a significant amount of Carlin here...lolz]

I object to that!!!

"I leave symbols to the symbol-minded."- Guess who?

| Family Guy
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v

"Life is a disease; sexually transmitted and fatal."~Neil Gaiman

haha yeah! I like that one.

Oliviar wrote:"Life is a disease; sexually transmitted and fatal."~Neil Gaiman

Haha, very true.

George Carlin - “Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”

"I'd love to kiss ya', but I just washed my hair." - Bette Davis

Life is pain, anyone who says differently is selling something.

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death. - Harold Wilson

"O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet." - Saint Augustine

"Everybody wake up (Wake up!) It's time to get down."

"Say hello to my little friend."

Hello to my little friend.

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid rather than to open it and remove all doubt" --Mark Twain

Life is one big f--king beauty contest, one after another - Duane from Little Miss Sunshine.

"Life is the leading cause of death."


George Carlin on "Santity of Life"- "If everything alive was dead, and everything dead was alive...where does the sacred part come in?"

"Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?" --Richard Bach

"Hot pockets...."- Jim Gaffigan

Bill Engvall has an Elk hung on the wall:

Neighbor: Did you shoot that thing?
Engvall: Nope. He ran through the wall and got stuck. Here's your sign

somedeadidiot wrote:"Hot pockets...."- Jim Gaffigan

Oh my god...I <3 Jim Gaffigan!

I've watched 'hot pockets' so many times! Not to mention his stuff on religion, haha.

"I love our holiday traditions. Christmas, where we go out and chop down a tree and we put it in our living room...kinda sounds like the behavior of a drunk man, really. Some woman wakes up...'honey, why is there a...pine tree...in our living room?'

I LIIIKEE IT! we're gonna...we're gonna...we're gonna decorate it...FOR JESUS."

I won't embed the video, but here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjJCIbC9sxA

You guys should all check out Jim Gaffigan, props to somedeadidiot for reminding me how awesome he is

lol

"My wife's like a Shiite Catholic. Sometimes I like to mess around with her with it...
Ring ring...
Girl voice: Who is this?
Low voice: THE DEVIL!!!"

"I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough." --M. C. Escher

"Don't do drugs, there are much cooler ways to die."

"I want to see what you have learned, and what you stand for; choking and dry-heaving."